Tuesday, January 20, 2009


What is the meaning of courage?

Is it to fight a bull in a bullfight?

Is it to drive a formula 1 car?

Is it to fly a fighter in combat?

Is it to practice free falling parachuting?

Is it bungee jumping, wild water rafting?

Is it to gamble your salary on a coin toss?

Is it to insult the doorman in a bar?

Is it to insult your boss?

Is it to go on a defective ferris wheel?

Bullsh*t…that is nothing… THIS is COURAGE!!!

dog humping tiger

Naming Myself

A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man standing
alone. She approached him.

'My name is Carmen,' she told him.

'That's a beautiful name,' he replied, Is it a family name?'

'No,' she replied. 'I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most
-- cars and men.'

'What's your name?' she asked.

He said, 'B. J. Titsengolf'.

Doctors vs Gunowners

Doctors vs Gunowners


(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.

(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians
per year are120,000.

(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171 (.17%).

Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of
Health and Human Services.

Now think about this:


(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S.
is 80,000,000. (Yes, that's 80 million)

(B) The number of accidental gun deaths
per year, all age groups, is 1,500.

(C) The number of accidental deaths
per gun owner is .000188.

Statistics courtesy of FBI

So, statistically, doctors are approximately
9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.

Remember, 'Guns don't kill people, doctors do.'


Please alert your friends to this alarming threat.
We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!

Out of concern for the public at large,
I have withheld the statistics on lawyers
for fear the shock would cause
people to panic and seek medical attention!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

A drunken good old boy from W.V.

A SC State trooper pulled a car over on US 23 about 2 miles North of the SC/NC State line. When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a

Magician and Juggler and was on his way to Ft. Wayne to do a show at the Shrine Circus. He didn't want to be late.
The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and asked if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a ticket.
He told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.
The trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the trooper got 5 flares, lit them and handed them to him.

While the man was juggling, A car pulled in behind the patrol car.

A drunken good old boy from W.V. got out, watched the performance, then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in.

The trooper observed him and went over to the patrol car, opened the door asking the drunk what he thought he was doing.

The drunk replied, 'You might as well take my ass to jail, cause there ain't no way I can pass that test.'

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Google's New 411 service: 1-800-GOOG-411

Google's 411 service

This is GREAT. Could really help in an emergency when on the road. Watch the demo...

Google 411.

Just leave it up to Google to come up with something like this!!! Here's a number worth putting in your cell phone, or your home phone speed dial: 1-800-goog411. (1-800-466-4411)

This is an awesome service from Google, and it's free -- great when you are on the road.

Don't waste your money on information calls and don't waste your time manually dialing the number. I am driving along in my car and I need to call the golf course and I don't know the number. I hit the speed dial for information that I have programmed.

The Google voice at the other end says, "City & State." I say, " Garland , Texas ." He says, "Business, Name or Type of Service." I say, Firewheel Golf Course." He says, "Connecting" and Firewheel answers the phone.

How great is that? This is nationwide and it is absolutely free! Click on the play button below and watch the short clip for a quick demonstration go Google's Free 411 servcice.

Get more info at Google 411 service

They also have a cool text messaging service. Text your message to Google at 466453 and they'll text you back results.

Here's the link if you want to learn more.
Google text messaging service

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Simple act of patriotism

Every once in a while you see a simple act of patriotism that just fills your heart with so much pride that you get lumps in your throat.

Simple act of patriotism

Simple act of patriotism

Richard the Dragon Slayer

Once upon a time, and far, far away lived a beautiful Queen with voluptuous breasts. Richard the Dragon slayer knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them.

One day Richard revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor. Horatio the Physician, exclaimed that he could arrange for Richard the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it.

Without pause, Richard the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme. The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed.

Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Richard the Dragon Slayer would work as the antidote to cure the itch.

The King quickly summoned Richard the Dragon Slayer. Horatio the Physician then slipped Richard the Dragon Slayer the antidote for the itching powder, which he quickly put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Richard worked passionately on the Queen's voluptuous and magnificent breasts.

The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Richard the Dragon Slayer left satisfied and touted as a hero.

Upon returning to his chamber, Richard the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the Physician demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Richard the Dragon Slayer couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio the Physician could never report this matter to the King, with a laugh just told him to get lost.

The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's underwear. The King immediately summoned Richard the Dragon Slayer...