Saturday, March 21, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Child Unattended with Dangerous Dog
If you are an owner of a dog that belongs to a 'dangerous breed' category and you also have a small child please take this as a warning. Don't leave your dog with the child unattended under any circumstances.
Only a brief moment was enough for the following to happen.
Only a brief moment was enough for the following to happen.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
WHY GOD MADE MOMS
Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of ?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom.. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad..
What's the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Mom's have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of ?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom.. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad..
What's the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Mom's have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Barack Obama's Own New Money
George Washington, our nations first President, and leader of the American Revolution !
Abe Lincoln, our most honorable leader, pulled our nation through its darkest time !
Alexander Hamilton, founding father, first Secretary of the Treasury and leader of the Constitutional Convention !
Old Hickory Andrew Jackson fought the British in New Orleans !
Ulysses Grant, Union army general, led the North through the Civil War !
Ben Franklin, genius inventor, political theorist and leading author of our Constitution.
Finally, we have someone to put on the food stamp !
Abe Lincoln, our most honorable leader, pulled our nation through its darkest time !
Alexander Hamilton, founding father, first Secretary of the Treasury and leader of the Constitutional Convention !
Old Hickory Andrew Jackson fought the British in New Orleans !
Ulysses Grant, Union army general, led the North through the Civil War !
Ben Franklin, genius inventor, political theorist and leading author of our Constitution.
Finally, we have someone to put on the food stamp !
Moses & Jesus
A burglar broke into a Christian Family 's home one night. He shined
his flashlight around, looking for valuables when he heard a strange
voice echoing from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and
froze. After awhile when he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard,
"Jesus is watching you."
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the
source of the voice and finally, in the corner of the room, his
flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he whispered to the
parrot.
"Yep," the parrot squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."
The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? And what is your name?"
"Moses," replied the bird.
"Moses?" the burglar laughed.
"What kind of people would name a bird Moses?"
"The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus."
his flashlight around, looking for valuables when he heard a strange
voice echoing from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and
froze. After awhile when he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard,
"Jesus is watching you."
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the
source of the voice and finally, in the corner of the room, his
flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he whispered to the
parrot.
"Yep," the parrot squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."
The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? And what is your name?"
"Moses," replied the bird.
"Moses?" the burglar laughed.
"What kind of people would name a bird Moses?"
"The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus."
Mesa AZ protest against President Obama
At the Mesa AZ protest against President Obama, KFYI listeners brought signs telling Santa Obama what they
wanted from the savior-based economy. Hats off to KFYI's Bruce Jacobs and J.D. Hayworth.
Reader Al Swanson sent these priceless pics:
wanted from the savior-based economy. Hats off to KFYI's Bruce Jacobs and J.D. Hayworth.
Reader Al Swanson sent these priceless pics:
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
